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There are these two sentences from a book on C. S. Lewis:

There is in recent centuries an expanding technical tradition and logic whereby the individual gives significant ground to the group as an outcome of an aggregation procedure. In today’s world, no less than in Lewis’s, the collective is thought to have greater weight and value than the individual, where the collective, not the individual, is thought pivotal to social progress.

There are three things to think about.

(1) Should I change “gives” to “concedes”, since that is more the sense here? But “concedes” also anticipates the book, the arguments to come, by a little bit: it is as if you were deploring already the rising importance of collective over individual. So I decide to leave “gives” as “gives.”

(2) Where is the stress of the author, what is his/her point? The individual gives ground to the group as the main thing, and how the group happens as secondary? In which case “an outcome” is fine. Or is the method–the “aggregation procedure”–important? Also place it in the perspective of the sentence opening, “an expanding technical tradition….” The method seems to be important, more so since already the required tragic emphasis on collective’s higher weight is being supplied by the second sentence. And so I will change “an outcome” to “the outcome.”

(3) The “where” is simply confusing. We already know that we are talking about today’s world and Lewis’s world, and that is where the action is situated. Change “where” to “and” so that the reader can flow on smoothly without creasing his brows too much.

The final changes look like these:

There is in recent centuries an expanding technical tradition and logic whereby the individual gives significant ground to the group as the outcome of an aggregation procedure. In today’s world, no less than in Lewis’s, the collective is thought to have greater weight and value than the individual, and the collective, not the individual, is thought pivotal to social progress.