You are currently browsing the monthly archive for February 2010.

Pay close attention to what the author is saying; sometimes, when thought is moving faster than what can be projected, a writer might forget a word which with its absence makes the sentence meaningless, if not ridiculous.

With the vigorous development of network technology and the popularity of the Internet …

changed to

With the vigorous development of network technology and the rising popularity of the Internet …

We were not talking here of markets and brandings, hence not of how popularities are built; but rather just of a factor which has led to the increase in the number of e-commerce services in the recent past.

A Reuters post dated 6 Feb 2010 says:

Obama has faced opposition to the proposal from Republicans who want money paid back to the government by big banks returned to the U.S. Treasury for deficit reduction.

If I had not read the headline, I would’ve thought the proposal was from the Republicans. That is just one of the horrific ways this one sentence was created; having no comma before “who” means that the Republicans are not unanimous, but rather the article is talking about only some motley group of them. Definite article and/or use of possessive would certainly have helped to clarify the sentence further. Breaking into sentences or not including some understood things would have helped that second convoluted clause. I anyway think that the proposal faces opposition, not Obama.

Hence, I would change to the following:

Obama’s proposal has faced opposition from the Republicans, who want money paid by big banks to be returned to the U.S. Treasury for deficit reduction.
Addendum on 1 Jul: Probably, I would just say “The proposal has faced …” as it must have been already discussed before (as evident from “the proposal” in the original post). What’s curious here how media often twists things into egocentric wars, into personalities stamping themselves on the world; how people relate much more to a person facing opposition rather than a policy facing opposition. It’s unfortunate, because policies affect people in their real lives, and the debate instead of centering around them gets lost in who is pushing for what, who’s winning and who’s losing.